January 8, 2008

Eat Pray Love

I just finished reading Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert, which, I know, everyone in the universe is reading right now-- or at least every woman. As I was reading it I kept having to push past the jealousy (envy?) I was feeling because Gilbert is the same age as me and is able to take off for a year and sort out her life. Sure, if we could all just ditch our lives for a while, eat pasta, drink wine, meditate, and pray, the world would be a happier place for everyone. It's not going to happen for me any time soon, though. I don't know about you.

My husband just read what I wrote and was upset because he thought I was trying to say that I wasn't happy with my life and wanted to run away. That's not how I feel at all.

I've been thinking a lot about grief lately because six months ago my dad, while using drugs, caused a head-on collision, killed himself and the driver of the other car. I miss my dad in the few spare moments I have during the day to think about him. At night when everyone else is sleeping I think about the wife of the man who died, and I'm sick for her. I am horrified that I am the daughter of the person who caused her this incredible grief. I start to panic that I don't have enough free time to sort these feelings out, and they're all going to catch up with me and push me into crazyland. But then the baby wakes up and needs nursing, and it I have to put it all on the shelf again.

So, I really did like Gilbert's book. I especially like her medicine man and his ideas about heaven and hell. Not big on either place myself, kinda think this is it for all of us, but if heaven and hell exist, I'll take the medicine man's version.

Gilbert's trip to India dragged a bit for me, but I've never been big on meditation and prayer (maybe that's why I'm having such a hard time right now), but I really liked her night on the roof letting go of her divorce guilt. I've got a little guilt of my own I could stand to lose.
I was surprised to find myself excited about the sequel to Eat Pray Love (Weddings and Evictions).

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