January 12, 2012

Lessons with Snow Shovel

I've shoveled the entire driveway for the first time after living in New England for more than three years, and here are a few rules I've created for myself:

Never fling where you scoop. There's a similar, equally important, saying about going potty.

Shoveling in a snowstorm is a Sisyphean feat. Get zen with it or become a recluse 'til spring.

You may think you hear the snowplow coming down your road. The sound is something akin to a desert mirage; it will never arrive.

Always wear a belt while shoveling, otherwise your pants will fall down and your bum will be snowflaked. However sexy that may sound, it is not.

Never move to a place where it snows if you do not have, or are not in hopes of possessing, flat abs and Popeye-like biceps.

You may quite happily move to a snowy land if you are wealthy enough to hire someone with the afore mentioned qualities-- and then you may have the added joy of watching that person's pants fall down.

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Next time perhaps my thoughts will be more poetic. In the meantime, here's a link to Billy Collins's poem, "Shoveling Snow with Buddha."




2 comments:

Lisa Ahn said...

Hilarious!! Oh, I wish I could have been there, dancin' in the snow with you. We could have just pounded it down with our tip tappin' feet.

Anonymous said...

Laughed out loud, so much so that I had to spell it out. So thank you. <3 fmf